Walljasper: What Just Happened?
The grocery store closest to me is so progressive that it takes care of my guesswork. Of course the apples aren’t coated in a sheen of pesticide, the eggs are from chickens that take yoga breaks and the salmon voluntarily leapt into the fishing boat. Plus, the music is groovy.
I move down the aisles smoothly, thanks in no small part to the groovy music, until I get to the bottom of the grocery list, the part where I need soap, toilet paper and laundry detergent.
There are only single bars of soap, they cost $4.99 a pop and they all seem to all be made of hemp and ear wax. The toilet paper is recycled — don’t make me think about this. It would be cheaper to buy new clothes than to wash my current ones in environmentally friendly detergent.
I am willing to take my cues from hippies on organic fruit, free-range eggs and sustainable seafood, but personal hygiene has always been a blind spot for their ilk.
I was thinking about this over the summer when Gabe DeArmond offered the chance to write for PowerMizzou.com. Could I provide some affordably priced albeit environmentally catastrophic detergent to an otherwise fully stocked market?
I tend to agree with Gabe’s opinions (Editor's Note: This is an excellent stance to take), so there wouldn’t be much point in us writing similar commentary worded slightly differently after games. And once I start my real job in a few weeks — I will be a communications specialist for MU Health Care — my days in the journalism trenches will be over and the reporting-based columns I used to do for the Columbia Daily Tribune won’t be possible. This gig is just a fun, free-time activity.
I decided there might be one thing lacking on a site known for its breaking news and exhaustive coverage of not only what is happening with Missouri athletics but what might be happening within the brain of an athletically gifted teenager who is about to make a college decision — a decision that should be respected and that shall not involve further interviews, thank you very much — and that missing element is … old news.
Not really old news — if you want my thoughts on the significance of the Magna Carta, you’ll have to ask — but analysis and a slightly skewed perspective on the events of the last week or so. The column title is “What Just Happened?,” which is meant to both describe the content and the feeling the reader should have after the rabbit holes of my mind are explored on the way to a thoroughly confusing conclusion.
With all that said, depending on the week, I suspect I often will provide little more than recycled toilet paper.
Let’s begin …
Football practice started Tuesday. My personal observations from watching the first 45 minutes of the first practice were that the young men looked flexible and capable of organizing themselves in straight lines and subsequently darting around inanimate objects and catching passes lobbed to them by position coaches.
Beyond that, I can engage in slightly informed speculation. I will do so now on the topic of Missouri’s offensive line, chosen because it’s the group whose reputation has changed most drastically from last season.
Last year at this time, there were concerns that the appropriate analogies for the offensive line would range from “bottomless bucket” to “sieve.” Nobody returned from the 2015 team’s line, and if a fellow couldn’t crack the starting lineup on an offense that failed to score in double digits half the time, it was reasonable to question that fellow’s bona fides. As it turned out, last year’s offensive line exceeded all expectations, allowing only 2.92 tackles for loss per game, which ranked No. 1 in the nation.
“You look at the stats, yeah, we were a lot better on the negative things, but I still don’t think we went out and played as dominant as we wanted to play,” senior guard Alec Abeln said. “I think we’re really looking to take it to the next level and be a dominant offensive line. When you turn on the tape, you can see it, not just in the stats.”
Missouri’s offense, Version 2016, was engineered to hide its presumptive flaw. The Tigers neutralized rushers with a quick-release passing game, used tight ends and running backs to give blocking support and snapped the ball so quickly that defenders were slowed by fatigue. It worked better than expected, but it was not an offense for all occasions. Case in point: While nursing a six-point lead in the fourth quarter of a 28-27 loss to Georgia, Missouri put together two drives with a total of 21 plays —20 of them running plays — but took less than eight minutes off the clock. They continued to push the pace when the situation called for clock-eating because the coaches didn’t believe the Tigers could win up front against well-rested defenders.
Contrast that with a game at Ole Miss in 2013, when the coaches had complete faith in an offensive line with three future pros. Missouri took over with a two-touchdown lead and 8:08 left in the game and methodically ran out the clock, ending the thing by taking a knee on the Rebels’ 26-yard line while the local fans were filling up their first postgame red Solo Cups outside the stadium.
So Abeln is right when he says there is a next level — probably multiple next levels — for this offensive line, despite what the 2016 stats said. Offensive coordinator Josh Heupel sounded like he would be willing to put more responsibility on the line, which returns every starter and several experienced backups.
“With the maturity we have and the growth we have at that position, we’ll be able to be in five- and six-man protection a little bit more instead of gap protection using tight ends and backs, as well,” Heupel said. “So I think that will help us get more check-downs and help Drew (Lock) in some third-down situations.”
In addition to judging offensive linemen by sacks allowed, penalties or the grades assigned by analytical websites, consider the strategy of the players’ own coaches. If Missouri is getting the tight ends and running backs more involved in the passing game and slowing the pace when the situation calls for it, that will be an indicator that the offense is ready to advance from occasionally dazzling to consistently good.
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On Monday, the brief but eventful career of White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci ended after 11 days on the job. The Mooch barely outlasted Missouri freshman wide receiver O’Shae Clark, and that caused me to reminisce about other recent Mizzou short-timers.
If you ace this quiz, you have been paying way too much attention.
Questions
1. Who were the three interim athletic directors who bridged the gap from Mack Rhoades to Jim Sterk?
2. Who was Barry Odom’s first defensive line coach?
3. Who was Frank Haith’s assistant who departed for Auburn in 2012 before ever coaching a game?
Answers
1. Wren Baker (17 days), Hank Foley (seven days), Sarah Reesman (six days)
2. Chris Wilson (39 days)
3. Ryan Miller (71 days)
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On July 25, The Journal of the American Medical Association released the findings of a study on the brains of former football players. The results were alarming. The brains of 202 deceased players of all levels were examined, and 87 percent of them had chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which is caused by repeated blows to the head. Out of 111 former NFL players, 110 had signs of CTE, which can lead to dementia and depression, among other problems.
Anna McKee, the doctor in charge of the study, acknowledged “tremendous selection bias,” because the players whose brains were donated often showed symptoms of CTE while they were alive. Still, she concluded: “It is no longer debatable whether or not there is a problem in football — there is a problem.”
I never quite know what to do with information like this. Football is still my favorite sport, but I’ve changed the way I watch. It involves a lot more cringing. And the big hits are only part of the problem. Apparently, it’s the routine head-knocking that happens all over the field on every play that is the biggest issue.
I wondered what someone still playing thinks about the threat of CTE. I asked Missouri running back Ish Witter. I chose him because he’s thoughtful and because he seems to be a magnet for devastating hits.
Last year, in the second quarter of the Middle Tennessee State game, he took a forearm to the head and lay motionless on the field for a few seconds, leading teammate Rickey Hatley to say that Witter was “blacked out like he was dead.” But Witter passed the concussion test, returned to the game on the next possession and carried the ball 11 more times.
Witter just so happened to have written a paper on the topic of CTE in the spring. He acknowledged that he has worried about his own health since last season’s episode but puts it out of his mind while he’s playing.
“When that happened during that game last year, I definitely should have said something,” Witter said. “I was just trying to be a team player, trying to help my team any way I can. When that happens, you need to be smart. What I learned from writing that paper is you can die from that. If not, you can end up brain dead or any type of crazy stuff with the brain. It’s definitely something you worry about, but you can’t be worrying about it every day on the field.”
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After several quiet months on the football recruiting front, Missouri went on a binge last week, snagging nine verbal commitments to raise its total to 14. The strategy of targeting Camerons is paying off way better than the ill-conceived plan to build a super team of O’Shaes.
Athlete Cameron Taylor, linebacker Cameron Wilkins and wide receiver Kam Scott have committed, and Missouri is still in the hunt for CBC wide receivers Kamryn Babb and Cameron Brown. If the Tigers could land those guys then snag the four other Cams listed in the Rivals 100 rankings — No. 54 Camron Davis of Miami Gardens, Fla.; No. 62 Cameron Rising of Newbury Park, Calif.; No. 90 Cameron Jurgens of Beatrice, Neb.; and No. 98 Cameron Latu of Salt Lake City, Utah — this could wind up being the greatest forename dynasty in school history.
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On Wednesday, the University of Texas declared that reporters covering football practice shouldn’t tweet quotes from post-practice interviews until the talking is done, explaining in an official statement: “Our hope is that you would take time to review your post and re-listen to the questions and answers in an effort to increase accuracy and insure the necessary context.”
With a little more time for reflection, the Texas spokesperson might have realized the appropriate word was “ensure” rather than “insure,” thus increasing the accuracy of the statement, since, to my knowledge, nobody ever purchased a policy to guard against the loss of necessary context. I suppose, though, that only proves the point that one can’t hurry good writing.
Some journalists chafe at big brother telling them when they can report that the coach “saw a lot of good things today,” but I think sports reporters could use all the time-management rules they can get. Left to their own devices — and I do mean devices — they will check Twitter every five minutes to see if they’re getting beat on a story while driving 70 mph down the highway. It’s refreshing to hear the “put your phone down” message from an institution of higher learning rather than a significant other for a change.
