What's more fun than us giving you a chance to mock us every single week? In our new feature, Blowin' Smoke presented by Weston Tobacco, we will do that each and every Thursday. Gabe DeArmond and Mitchell Forde will make five predictions almost sure to go wrong every week in this space. These will range from big games to big picture predictions with a bit of the comedic and absurd mixed in most weeks as well.
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1) Over/under number of SEC coaches fined the remainder of the season set at 0.5
Mitchell: Well considering our recent pace, two in the past two weeks, I think I have to go over. I feel like Mike Leach is due to spout off about something and make Greg Sankey mad at some point. And honestly, if you gave me the over/under of 0.5 on just Dan Mullen, I'd be tempted to take the over. He's been on quite the roll lately.
Gabe:When I initially asked this, I was operating under the premise that Kiffin and Mullen would teach the other guys a lesson and they'd all behave. But who am I kidding? Line's off here. Give me the over.
2) SEC picks of the week
Gabe: Florida (+5) vs Georgia: Georgia's only real weakness is at quarterback. It killed them against Alabama. Top to bottom, the Bulldogs have the better roster. But after watching last week, I'm picking the Gators.
Vanderbilt (+16) at Mississippi State: The correct answer is that we all lose. I'll go with Mississippi State.
Texas A&M (-8) at South Carolina: A&M wins, South Carolina covers.
Tennessee (-3) at Arkansas: Head says Tennessee. Heart says Arkansas. I'm not that smart, so I'll go with the Hogs.
Mitchell: Florida (+5) vs Georgia: This is a tough one. I was impressed with what I saw from Florida last week, and I don't like to pick against a quarterback that is clearly better. But I also need to see Florida actually beat Georgia before picking them to do so. I will take the Bulldogs to win a close one, but Florida covers.
Vanderbilt (+16) at Mississippi State: Woof. Vanderbilt just because I'm not sure Mississippi State can score three times.
Texas A&M (-8) at South Carolina: Aggies. Still don't think they're top-10 good, but certainly the more talented team here.
Tennessee (-3) at Arkansas: I think the magic is wearing off a tad for Arkansas. Tennessee really needs this one, and coming off a bye, I think the Vols win and cover.
3) Non-SEC picks of the week
Mitchell: Clemson (-4) at Notre Dame: Huge opportunity for Notre Dame, obviously. If they were playing this game in front of fans, I think I'd take the Irish. But even without Trevor Lawrence, I think Clemson is talented enough to figure out a way to win. I would like picking the Tigers better if the spread was a field goal, but I'll still take Clemson.
Stanford (+11.5) at Oregon: Really don't know anything about either team or how good they're supposed to be. Stanford feels like it's been on a slow decline for a while now. Ducks.
Purdue (+6) at Wisconsin: If this game happens, Wisconsin will be down to their fourth-string QB, right? What am I missing here? I think the Boilermakers should be favored. Purdue.
Michigan (-2) at Indiana: I could very easily see a scenario in which Michigan's season spirals after last week's loss and the Wolverines lose this game. But given the chance to take a more talented team as less than a field goal favorite, I think you have to do it. Harbaughs.
SUNY-Buffalo (+9) at Northern Illinois: Talk about knowing zero about either team. I will take Buffalo solely because their AD, Mark Alnutt, was nice enough to do a Zoom podcast with us during the depths of quarantine.
Gabe: Clemson (-4) at Notre Dame: Clemson got its "what do we do without Trevor" scare last week. They'll win by two touchdowns.
Stanford (+11.5) at Oregon: I'm legitimately uncertain I could name a player in this game outside of former Rock Bridge running back Nathaniel Peat. He plays for Stanford, so I'll go with Stanford.
Purdue (+6) at Wisconsin: Welp. Looks like COVID won. Assume the Boilermakers are calling East Tennessee State and trying to call Bob Bowlsby to see if they can join the Big 12 while pitching a fit all over social media.
Michigan (-2) at Indiana: Michigan probably wins but since there is nothing riding on this but pride and I don't have all that much of that, give me the Hoosiers because that's what I want to happen.
SUNY-Buffalo (+9) at Northern Illinois: I put this in here to be funny because I'd never heard of SUNY-Buffalo. Reading your answer to find out it is actually just Buffalo makes it less funny and it makes me angry at them so let's go NIU.
4) NFL picks of the week
Mitchell: Green Bay vs San Francisco pick em: 49ers are horribly injured. Packers get revenge for last season.
Seattle (-2) at Buffalo: Tempted to pick the Bills because that's a tough trip for Seattle, but Josh Allen has come crashing back to earth and Russell Wilson is actually unstoppable.
Baltimore (-3) at Indianapolis: I don't think either team is as good as its record. I'll take Indianapolis as a home dog but don't feel good about it.
Miami (+6) at Arizona: Miami actually isn't terrible. Arizona is better, but inconsistent enough I feel good about taking the Dolphins and the points.
New Orleans (+4.5) at Tampa Bay: I think the Bucs win but this just has the feel of a field goal game. Saints cover.
Gabe: Green Bay vs San Francisco pick em: Packers because why aren't they favored?
Seattle (-2) at Buffalo: Seattle. The Bills are good enough to beat all the bad teams but not good enough to beat the really good ones.
Baltimore (-3) at Indianapolis: Ravens have their backs against the wall chasing the Steelers. I'll take Baltimore.
Miami (+6) at Arizona: This is actually a low key really interesting game between two potentially great young quarterbacks. Kyler Murray is ahead of Tua at this stage, obviously, so give me the Cardinals.
New Orleans (+4.5) at Tampa Bay: Saints. Outright.
5) Over/under on number of non-conference college basketball games Missouri plays 5.5
Gabe: I'm going to go under. It's three weeks until the start of the season and we know nothing. Maybe there are a bunch of things happening behind the scenes nobody seems to know about, but I just don't think they're going to find a way to pull off that many non-conference games. I think it's mostly going to be league play.
Mitchell: Over. You already have two on the schedule with Bradley and TCU in the Big 12-SEC challenge. It sounds like Liberty and Wichita State are happening. I think you can find at least a couple more small schools to get to six. A 24-game regular season schedule actually feels like about the perfect size for college hoops.