Commentary: Two down, waiting on three
Let me make two disclaimers to start this column:
1) I don't know what the Big Ten and PAC-12 postponements of fall sports mean for the SEC. I doubt anyone does quite yet. I know I don't.
2) There is going to be adult language in this column. That might bother some. You might say if I was mature I could express myself without profanity. Maybe that's true. I'm not feeling all that mature right now. So if grown-up words offend you, sorry in advance. You might want to stop reading. Like right now.
This fucking sucks.
On some level, we've known this was possible for weeks, if not months. But we seem to have this mechanism in us where we don't really believe something bad is going to happen until it actually happens. I knew people got DWI's, but I didn't think I'd ever get one. Until I did. I knew COVID-19 was a thing, but I didn't think anyone in my family would get it. Until someone did.
I knew college football season was in jeopardy for the last few weeks. But I didn't really think it was going to be cancelled. Until it was.
Again, to be clear, obviously Missouri's season hasn't been cancelled yet. There's still a chance the Southeastern Conference is going to play. A lot of people think whether it does depends quite a bit on the Big 12, which is a good dose of irony. But nobody knows for sure if they'll play. And when someone does know for sure, it won't be me.
But regardless of that answer, the fact is this college football season, at best, is going to be an abbreviation.
I don't know if there will be bowl games. It doesn't matter. I don't know if there will be a playoff or a champion. It doesn't matter. This fucking virus, which has already taken so much from us, just took a thing that most of us here love.
Look, let me be clear, there are a lot of people who have died and who have lost loved ones and who are going through far worse things than not being able to turn their TV on and see their favorite team (the fans) or wondering if they need to start applying for jobs (the media and a whole lot of people involved in college sports that most of you never think about). There are so many people who have it worse than I do or than football fans do today. I know that. But this still sucks.
Today is August 11th. It is five months to the day from when Rudy Gobert said he had tested positive for the virus. That night, the NBA put its season on hold. The next morning, everything else was pretty much cancelled.
We've spent those intervening five months fighting. We've politicized a fucking virus to the point where we can't have discussions about it. I've had a hard time doing my job. I've fought depression. If I'm being honest, I've pretended today wasn't going to come. Well, it's here. And it sucks.
You can make your jokes about how the Big Ten and the PAC-12 don't really take part in the college football playoff anyway. You can pound your chest and scream "It Just Means More!" all you want. You can pretend the college football world doesn't exist outside of the Southeastern Conference and convince yourself that this league is going to be the one that's tough and soldiers on and plays games because it's the BY GOD S-E-C.
And maybe you'll be right. I don't know. I hope with every fiber of my being you are. My job probably depends on it. My mental health probably depends on it.
But today, I'm not particularly interested in the jokes or the arguments. I'm not at all interested in the (ridiculous) idea that this is all going to magically disappear on November 4th. I'm sure as fuck not interested in listening to the idea that my friends who cover college football are in any way happy about this because they get to say they told you so.
I'm fucking sad. This day sucks.
My first college football memories were Jamelle Holieway and Darian Hagan running the option. I remember the Fifth Down, 1995 Nebraska was the best team I've ever seen, I was at the Kick and Catch. I watched Kordell Stewart to Michael Westbrook and the Bush Push and VY in the Rose Bowl and Boise State's Statue of Liberty and I can still remember the moment every one of them unfolded.
I love college football. It's why I have the job I have. It's why you are reading this. It's a few hours every week we don't have to think about politics or the virus or any of the other bullshit that takes up the vast majority of our lives. It's not dead yet. There's still a chance we're going to see some games. But it's injured today. Badly. And it just makes me sad.