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Published Jan 8, 2021
USA Mortgage presents What Just Happened? Vol. 98
Joe Walljasper
Columnist
Click here to hook up with former Mizzou Tiger Brandon Barnes for all your mortgage needs

Hailing from Sikeston, Missouri, former Mizzou football player Brandon Barnes is your home loan coach with USA Mortgage. Whether it’s purchasing your dream home or refinancing for a better rate, he’s got you covered. Click on the image above or right here to get the process started.

On Sunday, I read an article in the New York Times about a new “alt-wellness” movement on the West Coast in which participants take kambo, “a glue-like toxic secretion released on the skin of a giant monkey frog.” According to the article, people pay $150 to participate in kambo rituals. The substance causes accelerated heart rate, facial swelling, projectile vomiting and diarrhea. It was described enthusiastically by a holistic health coach from Malibu as “a wringing-out of your organs.”

Speaking without the benefit of a degree from a holistic health school, I think organs are meant to be moist — in fact, I’m almost sure of it. It struck me as strange that these hipsters would choose to participate in this, or any other giant monkey frog paste-related ritual. Then again, I did watch every Missouri basketball game from 2014-17, so who am I to judge? We all choose to do what’s bad for us sometimes.


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