The following persons, places and things bear no responsibility for the regrettable events on Faurot Field on the afternoon of Oct. 27, 2018.

1. Sean Culkin: The Los Angeles Chargers tight end was in charge of beating the Big MO drum and leading the M-I-Z, Z-O-U chant before the game, and he took the beating and chanting seriously, like he was auditioning for a Viking movie. Top-notch beating and chanting.

2. The guy who lost the Andy’s Frozen Custard halftime challenge: Forget those sumbitch SEC refs, the real perpetrators of a rigged game are the people who decided a helmet cart should get a 40-yard head start in a 100-yard race against a human. Motorized carts were invented because they are a superior mode of transportation to bipedal locomotion.

3. Cale Garrett and DeMarkus Acy: Garrett was at the bottom of the pile on every big third- and fourth-down stop of Kentucky. On the penultimate play of the game, Acy defended Ahmad Wagner perfectly despite receiving an over-the-helmet scalp massage from the wide receiver. The pass interference call against him was preposterous.

4. The north end zone: Who you calling cursed now?

5. Waltz: DNP, coach’s decision.

There was plenty of blame to go around for the others involved Missouri’s 15-14 loss to Kentucky, which made the bizarre defeat to South Carolina three weeks earlier feel totally normal by comparison. If nothing else, the game created the most realistic official visit former Clemson quarterback Kelly Bryant could possibly take as he considers where to play his final season.

This is us, Kelly. Whaddya think?