The NCAA Committee on Infractions bombed the Missouri athletic department to the Stone Age for being honest about cheating. The important lesson learned Thursday? Cooperation is for suckers.
David Roberts, the committee’s chief hearing officer, admitted as much when he agreed with a reporter’s suggestion that this case could encourage schools to not cooperate with NCAA investigators, lest they be penalized harshly for one tutor cheating, like Missouri, rather than escape punishment for institutional academic fraud, like North Carolina.
Roberts probably finished last in his class at Spin Doctor School, but kudos to him for being honest about the NCAA’s sham justice, although he of all people should know how far honesty about dishonesty gets you.
Pending appeal, the Missouri football team will be banned from the postseason next year. The baseball and softball teams face postseason bans, as well. There are other financial and recruiting penalties. The vast majority of the athletes who will be punished were nowhere near Mizzou in 2015-16, when one tutor did the homework of 12 athletes.
I assume every major athletic department had, has and will have tutors who do more than they should to keep athletes eligible. Missouri happened to have one who went to great lengths to unburden herself of her sins and attack her former employer. Luck of the draw.
MU deserved some punishment. It got caught for what, admittedly, were violations. But this punishment — whether or not it technically falls in line with the guidelines of the NCAA’s naughty matrix, which is its version of the 2-point conversion chart that can be pointed to in the absence of critical thinking — is over the top.
Let’s take a look at the winners and losers from Thursday’s announcement.
Winners: People with MU math degrees. The NCAA infractions report identified the school’s math courses as “historically difficult,” which led to athletes fulfilling their math requirements through correspondence courses offered by other schools. Congratulations, Mizzou mathletes, at least your alma mater got one piece of good news on Thursday.
Losers: Current MU football players, especially Kelly Bryant. Out of dozens of suitors, Bryant chose MU for his final season. He reportedly plans to stay, but who could blame him if he changed his mind? The postseason ban has always been a dumb penalty that disproportionately affects players who had nothing to do with the violations.
Loser: Mike Glazier. The former NCAA enforcement staff member is one of the nation’s go-to lawyers when colleges seek representation in NCAA investigations. His firm represented Missouri in this case and in the previous investigation of the men’s basketball program. What’s the point in hiring a law firm when the NCAA admits cooperation is counterproductive?
Loser: Yolanda Kumar. The NCAA did not find proof that the disgruntled tutor at the center of the case was pressured from above to cheat. Thus, she was hit with a 10-year show-cause penalty. Surely that will be the only reason other schools won’t swoop in to hire her.
Loser: The person who spent five minutes typing into the infractions report that Missouri must refrain from “accepting any assistance from the tutor that would aid in the recruitment of prospective student-athletes,” refuse “financial assistance or contributions to Missouri's athletics program from the tutor” and ensure “no athletics benefit or privilege is provided to the tutor.” Um, Missouri and the tutor are going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. I don’t think she was planning to buy a suite in the south end zone complex.
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On the bright side, Mizzou might get to vacate the 2015 football season. You can have it, NCAA. Actually, you can have the whole year. It can be delivered like a flaming bag of dog poop to the front door of your headquarters in Indianapolis.
According the NCAA report, Kumar began coloring outside the academic lines in the summer of 2015. You’ll recall other unforgettable hits from that year such as: the men’s basketball team finishing 9-23, the hiring of athletic director Mack Rhoades, the Tigers failing to score in double figures in six of their 12 football games, the resignation of Gary Pinkel and some business about a hunger strike and boycott.
I must say, 2015, you really were the gift that keeps giving to the University of Missouri. If a giant sinkhole had swallowed the area south of Shakespeare’s Pizza on Elm Street and north of the Waffle House on Providence Road on Jan. 1, 2015, forcing the suspension of all university activities for the next year, it would have been preferable to the actual year that happened.
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This week, I was reminded of a very important lesson of sportswriting: Never start writing when you could be procrastinating. On Wednesday night, I had gone to the trouble of writing about what seemed like the topic of the week — Missouri’s sinking basketball season — and by 11 a.m. Thursday morning, that bald ref who kept making phantom foul calls in the LSU game was item No. 99 on the list of Mizzou fan grievances.
But since I went to the trouble of writing it, I might as well tack it on the end here.
The Hindenburg, considered top of the line by the greatest minds in the blimp community, burst into flames and plummeted nearly 300 feet to the earth, killing 36 passengers and crew, in less than 40 seconds. The deadliest natural disaster in history, the Shaanxi earthquake of 1556, was estimated to rumble for a mere 20 seconds. Rick Pitino testified in court that his entire sexual encounter with Karen Sypher in a Louisville restaurant — a brief coupling that led to an extortion attempt and lawsuit — lasted less than 15 seconds.
Bad things happen quickly.
By comparison, the Missouri basketball team coughing up a 14-point lead to LSU in final 2:08 of regulation on Saturday was a harmless act of great endurance. The result required a combination of the visiting team making all the right moves, the home team making all the wrong moves and the officials making things up as they went along.
The bad-things-happen-quickly idea could be applied to the Tigers’ season, as well. They were ahead of expectations after the non-conference slate, with a 9-3 record that included decent wins over Oregon State, UCF, Xavier and Illinois. A 1-6 start in the Southeastern Conference has tempered the holiday joy that erupted when Missouri ended its futility against the Illini. On Wednesday, Missouri looked like a JV squad in the second half of a 34-point loss at Auburn.
This is what a rebuilding season looks like. It’s easier to accept before and after than during. During isn’t much fun.
Viewing last week’s loss at Arkansas was one of the least fun two hours I’ve spent. Last year, I went to see “The Phantom Thread,” purported to be the great swan song of Daniel Day-Lewis, in which he played a disagreeable dress maker. I wanted to insert darning needles in my eyeballs. The Arkansas game was like that.
The Auburn game felt like more like “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” I had zero expectations of entertainment and was not disappointed. Auburn end-of-the-bencher Cole Blackstock, who humorously failed at holding Missouri guard Xavier Pinson upright after fouling him, could play a passable Kevin James if the Blart franchise makes the transition to regional theater in east central Alabama.
None of this concerns me greatly when considering the future of the Missouri basketball program. The only person who has contributed in SEC play who can’t return next season is Jordan Geist. It would be nice, for his own sake, if Kevin Puryear could enjoy a surge late in his senior season — Ryan Rosburg style — but that makes little difference in the big picture.
It’s not out of the question, if Mark Smith returns in good health, that Missouri could still finish something like 6-12 in SEC play, but that doesn’t make much difference either. I would consider the final six weeks of the season successful if two things happen; No. 1, Jeremiah Tilmon gets a handle on what he can get away with in a college basketball game and adjusts his play accordingly; No. 2, Pinson and Torrence Watson become as comfortable and controlled on the court as their freshman classmate Javon Pickett.
The five players mentioned in the paragraph above, along with Evansville transfer Dru Smith, will give Cuonzo Martin a decent core for next season. But to feel good about contending for a spot in the NCAA Tournament, Martin would need to add at least two more helpful big men to the mix. Even if forward Trey Jackson is an impact freshman, Martin needs more frontcourt help in the worst way, and I’m not sure he’s going to find it unless the transfer gods smile upon him.
So I think it might be the 2020-21 season when we see the level of success Martin established at comparable former employers Tennessee and Cal, where he averaged 21 wins per season.
I feel like the program is in good hands with Martin. I like how he doesn’t get too high or low. I like how he doesn’t make excuses when his Porters break before Thanksgiving. I like how his teams usually play hard even when they don’t play well. As he adds more talent, that is going to translate to success.
Bad things happen quickly, but good things take time.
